Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
