Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
