Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??