I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day