last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???