youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym