Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
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Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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