Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
