there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
