The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
