Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."

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(213): View more from California

he quoted Bring It On. It's over.

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(229): View more from Georgia

my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

there needs to be a build-a-bong store...

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."

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(727): View more from Florida

at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.

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(914): View more from New York

Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between

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