So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize