just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
