I got chris browned last night
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
