Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
