Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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