Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
