'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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