how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We need to get me chipped asap
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
