So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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