She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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