Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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