dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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