He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
