Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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