i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
