Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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