I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
