I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
