I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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