when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
