next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
