He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
