She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's just like the Real World with babies
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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