We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
