Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
