were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
two words: eviction party
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
