we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
