Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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