so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
