I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I need a burrito and a hug.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
