I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She's the barista slut.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
