she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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