At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize
