nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize