its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
