just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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