I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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