Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
