Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
