i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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