party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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