So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
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It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
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I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio