i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..