If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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