"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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