STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
