so that wasnt chicken after all
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I understand Curling. That high.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
