remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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