I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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