foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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