he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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