he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
