1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
