he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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