So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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