Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
And then he peed in my hair
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