i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
